We are all born with the ability to know when we are in danger. I like to call this the “Yellow light Warning.” Have you ever noticed that just about anything negative that has ever happened to you, there was some kind of warning beforehand? Like you let your sister drive your car and she got a ticket and against your better judgement you kept letting her drive and a week later she had an accident? Or you are being ignored at work all of the sudden by your superiors and a couple of months later you get fired. I’ve know people who ignored a pain in their chest and had a heart attack thereafter. The list goes on and on . In women it’s called “intuition” and in men it’s called “gut feeling” but it’s all the same thing, it’s that feeling or spiritual connection in your gut and/or core (being) that something is not right, someone around you can’t be trusted, you are not paying attention or all hell is about to break loose. In the situation where we are surrounded with the wrong people there are some things that are obvious, to the point that you can see the dangers of some situations way in advance. The most important question we can ask ourselves is if this person doesn’t value their own lives, how much will they value mines? It’s a rhetorical question because some basic math should solve this simple equation. Nevertheless, here are a few people with various personality traits that you may need to watch out for more closely in your everyday dealings. The most important thing, and you have heard this before ALWAYS surround yourself with the right people.. (click “Next” for next segment above or below each time for next warning)
(OK you are probably still laughing at this picture but when you think about it, what would make a person do this to themselves? Moreover, THINK it looks good? It’s merely a reflection of what’s happening inside out.) When you don’t feel good about yourself, you not only reveal it in the things you say, you radiate it in the things you do. People who are insecure either come off as real assholes or they hide from life and fade into the atmosphere because they fear life. They can also hide in the background admiring you and we all like to have our egos stroked and we think it’s harmless but if a person doesn’t care about themselves they will be a Judas to you. Is this really someone that you want to surround yourself with? Even if they are harmless do you have the time to keep building them up and ignoring yourself? A great place to see insecurity is in nightclubs, it’s the woman who goes out with her girlfriends but is the only one who isn’t dancing and is watching everyone’s purse but tries to act like she’s having a good time bopping to the beat. It’s the man who holds up the wall and doesn’t say anything to anyone the entire night. Why would someone get dressed up in either situation to not participate in life? Only they can answer that. If you have read the 48 Laws of Power, this great book tells you to avoid people like this (Unhappy and Unlucky) at all costs because they will infect you with their low self worth.
Better to be quite and fool people than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. The ignorant person is the one who makes statements that make you cringe or they come off like they are keepin’ it real when they are actually (as Chris Rock said) Keepin’ it real DUMB. They have a need to get their point across but the only problem is they don’t have a point or at at least one that makes sense. Surrounding yourself with people like this will certainly be a reflection on your personality even if it’s not who you are.
This is one that you just can’t hide no matter how hard your try. A racist is not always the person who is blatant and comes out and expresses his hatred, he is also the one that shuts down when he is around people he feels uncomfortable with, until they are gone. He is the one who throws away all applications from African American sounding names before he gives the pile to his boss. He is the one who states if a white woman has dated a black man, he will never date her. He is the older white person who looks at minorities over the top of his glasses in judgement and his disdain for a person of color is evident no matter how bad he tries to hide it. You KNOW if this person heads a company, he will not hire you but will certainly listen to your ideas. He feels uncomfortable with you and doesn’t want to spend time wtih you. He will also pass the buck and make statements like “It’s not about race…’ When he knows it is. This person does not have to ever say one word, when he or she walks into a room, you can tell.
The person who judges others has probably been judged at some point in his or her life and they still feel feelings of inadequacy which is why they reflect their negative feelings onto someone else. The person who judges is letting you know outright how insecure they are. There are some situations where judgement is OK like someone leaving a dog in a car when it’s 100 degrees outside. In a situation like this you are valid in saying “What kind of of a dog owner are you to leave your dog in the car like that?” however, if it’s based on someone’s clothes, hair, brand of car or job or who they are dating… that’s a different story falling along the lines of envy and jealousy.
Need for Validation
This is probably one of the most common personality traits of all. People will not admit it but we are all always seeking validation, Many times to an extent that is faulty and obvious. The best place to see this is FaceBook, the constant updating of profile pictures. This is not to say that everyone who does this is guilty. Not at all. The ones who are NOT guilty of it update with pictures of VARIOUS things and people in their lives. Those who are desperately seeking validation update with constant pictures of themselves seeking approval and comments.
I remember I once had a neighbor, an older black woman who was bitter, condescending and mean as hell. She rarely left home and was always unkempt. She never spoke to anyone and when she did she was arguing about someone running on her grass or talking too loud in front of her house. Nobody liked her. One day, I heard someone singing, they had a great, melodic voice and they were singing loud and strong. I looked out my front door and it was her. She saw me and spoke with a smile. I had never seen her teeth. This 60-year-old woman was practically skipping back to her house like a school girl. She continued to sing as she thumbed through her mail and it became apparent to me what had happened. When she went back in the house a man came out heading to his car. She had been phucked and she was as happy as a Leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day . The attention from a man changed her whole personality. When people are lonely they are often bitter, sad or miserable for the attention of a significant other first THEN otherS. Think about it, when you have been lonely in your life, and we all have, would you have rather had friends or a significant other? Make no mistake, people can be married, to the wrong person, and be miserable too. There is no harm in keeping company with a person like this except that their energy will run people off.
If loneliness is ugly then Desperation is one hideous bitch. Have you ever seen a drunk person? Sure you have they can be funny, mad, quiet, bitter etc but a drunk DESPERATE person is only one thing… pitiful. When a person is desperate they will settle and that is never a good thing. That means you will let people and things in your life to get any kind of a spark even when it can be dangerous. If you keep company with a desperate person, there is no way around it, you are desperate too. Out of all the negative personality traits this one is the most dangerous.
There is probably no other negative personality trait more sinister than jealousy. The Jealous person attacks with vengeance and hate and they literally have no reason for disliking the other person, there is almost always absolutely no connection… or is there. People are most passionate about the things they desire the most, want to be the most or want to have the most. If they can’t have it, they attack it because someone else has it. I have been contacted by MANY older radio DJS who complain about Steve Harvey and how he is destroying radio. Truth be told, they are jealous. Perhaps not of Harvey but they are Jealous of the situation. The opportunity has not been offered to them and their careers are in the final phase. At one time even I talked badly about steve harvey and I knew I was not jealous of him but i had to ask myself if I was jealous of the situation? The answer is neither, I wanted to see young black DJs get a opportuntiy to work in radio and that’s why I was harsh about the show. Then I realized I don’t control any of the corporations so I can’t make that call.
Contempt is the cousin of jealousy. I once had a boss that had contempt for me and he made sure he used his power to make my work life a living hell. To this day, he is the ONLY person in the entire industry, well, he’s not really in the industry anymore… that I don’t like and that’s a stretch for me. I can get along with anyone but beware of the person that has contempt for you. The great thing about them is they are almost always self destructive and their own worst enemy so they will almost always destroy themselves.
If you have the least bit of intuition in your body you can smell a traitor a mile away, he or she is the person that will feign friendship and trust then stab you in the back. You don’t even have to have great discernment to notice these types. Unfortunately, they are often wolves in sheep’s clothing. They can be the best looking person in the world but they usually don’t have a lot to bring to the table. Traitors never grow because their reputations often precede them. After a while they lose all credibility and no matter what they say people take it like a grain of salt.
One of the most irritating things is the person with the fake ego. The one who acts like they have everything together and like they are on top of the world and they live their lives a certain way and everything is just the way they planned it. Bullshit. Nobody has a life like that and what adds insult to injury is when these types tell you how to live YOUR life. If you listen to them, you will make a HUGE mistake because there is nothing more appealing to them than control and followers. There are black ministers and preachers who fall directly into this category.