Home Music Industry News EDITORIAL: For those who do Number 2 in Coffee Houses

EDITORIAL: For those who do Number 2 in Coffee Houses

I was JUST thinking the same thing the other day. The nastiest bathrooms I have ever seen are in coffee houses. Sh… stains all over the toilets, horrific smells and nasty ass people who don’t even bother to wash their hand s when they are done with their toxic waste deposits (the sink is almost always dry). Do you realize how hard it is to piss and hold your breath at the same time? You damn near have a heart attack. If Coffee makes you sh…, PLEASE keep your filthy ass at home when you drink it. Nobody comes to Starbucks for a Latte and a side of funky ass. There is USUALLY a particular type of (s) who commit this, what should be a, crime. You know who you are…

Sometimes, the truth really stinks

Yesterday, I went to wash my hand s at the local coffeehouse. Since there was only one bathroom, I hopped from foot to foot until the door finally swung open and the previous user exited. In retrospect, I probably should have taken the
fact that the guy, Rusty, left the bathroom noshing on a hot dog as a bad omen.

Instead, ever the prisoner of hope, I entered anyway and was sucker punched by the most ungodly of smells. (No, seriously. Based on the smell, I’m truly convinced that my lavatory predecessor made some sort of twisted pact with Satan!) In addition to the pungent odor, Rusty also forgot to flush the remains of whatever rodent he had consumed during his morning feeding. Traumatized, I quickly scurried out and returned to my seat, crying and rocking in a fetal position for 20 minutes.

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Single Page